Multitasking, or How To Get Noisy Characters To Shut The Hell Up…

24 Nov

Without fail, as I am toiling away on one particular project, characters from another suddenly rise up to start yakking away in my head, demanding to be written. Noisy, pushy people who won’t give up and won’t wait their turn. It becomes tempting to write just so you can kill them off and quiet the din in your head. But, I love these people, so I give in and try to write out what little bits they give me in hopes it shuts them up long enough to return to the rat-killing that was the original project.

I am speaking about my favorite character, Cain. If I had duct tape, it would permanently be over his mouth. He’s rowdy and loud, and is frequently off-color, often hitting on me. So….here’s some Cain. Now shut the f%&k up, you punk bastard!!

“I am the Penitent.” Cain finished the execution litany and gave the soon-to-be pile of ash a cold stare, the Remington 870 shotgun peeking out from the side of his leather trench.

The condemned vamp sneered and snarled in the Old Tongue.
Cain lifted the Remington. “Yeah, I don’t go in for the old shit. So, you gonna listen to me in English-” he pumped the shotgun, “or do I have to speak to you in 12-gauge?”

The other vamp’s eyes narrowed and he pulled a large serrated knife from his boot and raised it to Cain. “Come on, you shiny fuck,” he said, growling. “I’ll carve you a new ass before you can blink.”

Oh, this was just gonna be fun. “Do you have any idea what this is?” he asked, inclining his head and pointing the barrel of the Remington at his target. “Dude, this is the business end of a very large shotgun. The international symbol for kiss your sorry ass goodbye. I sure hope you’re right with Jesus, ’cause you’re about to meet his ass.” He pulled the trigger, blowing out the other vampire’s chest and shooting him back against the wall with a sickening wet thud.

Cain watched the corpse seize and turn to ash and smiled. “Guess not.” He chuckled and bent over, calling out to somewhere beyond the floor. “You tell ’em Cain says hey!”


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